Worthless
by Jane of Volterra
Summary: The feeling of torment and rejection flooded her once more. She couldn’t control the high-pitched echoing screams forcing their way up her throat." Jane breaks down after beforced to relive a powerful memory from her childhood of anger, sadness and love.


"I....I'm.....sorry, Jane...." Renata mumbled, "but master Cauis has told me to tell you...." Renata took a deep breath, "that Felix has been chosen over you to go on this mission. Okay, bye." It all came out in a rush and Renata was gone quickly.

Jane stood their dumbstruck for a few moments. Her mouth in that perfect "o" shape of shock. How could Cauis pick Felix, _Felix, _over her? That was one of the worst insults she had ever received.

_Jane was walking through the corridors minding her own business, when Alfred Rei came up to her. Instantly she dropped her gaze and attempted to walk past, but he shot his arm out and blocked her way. She stopped and slowly looked up as Alfred's height towered over her small frame. "Ha-ha. The little witch is in love with Henry." Of course, the rest of the school didn't want to be victims of Alfred's cruel bullying, they started up a repetitive chant of "The little witch is in love with Henry. The little witch is in love with Henry." They cracked themselves up. Jane just looked for a way to escape, but there was none._

"_He hates you." Whispered Alfred into her ear over the cheering._

"_I really like you, Jane." Henry whispered nervously behind a bookcase in the library, "Can I visit you on Saturday?"_

"_Of course." She whispered back, "I would be glad to." She smiled and walked away, a light feeling engulfed her as she left._

"_He thinks your worthless. He thinks you're the ugliest person he has ever met, and you should just stop trying." _

"_I think your really pretty, Jane." Smiled Henry, whispering in her ear, giving her a small hug. It made Jane feel excited, but incredibly nervous. What if someone caught them?_

"_He wishes you would just die." Alfred laughed cruelly._

_Jane gasped and tears started streaming down her face. She tried to block out what she was hearing, block out the rapid flashbacks taunting her mind, to swear to herself it wasn't true. She saw at the back of the group, Henry, with a black eye, turning away. She swore she saw a single tear fall of his cheek. Jane felt a loss of control over herself, and looked at Alfred straight in the eyes. She slapped him, hard, but there was an added pain that felt like an electric shock. He was so shocked by the unnatural pain flowing through his body, and fell backwards, stunned. Jane ran in the opposite direction, shoving through the crowd, running to the toilets. She locked the door behind her, then locked another cubicle again. Her knees felt weak and she slid to the floor. Not bothering to hold back a gush of emotion, Jane let loose and cried her heart out. She kicked the side of the cubicle and screamed. She couldn't contain herself and let out her boiling anger, kicking, screaming and slapping the sides of the cubicle, then in a weakened mess, lay down on the floor, her cheek growing cold on the tiles. She had never felt so worthless in her life._

Jane knew that this exclusion from one trip shouldn't bother her, but she couldn't stop that memory, and many other memories of childhood suffering she had received, from awakening inside her. The feeling of torment and rejection flooded her once more. She couldn't control the high-pitched echoing screams forcing their way up her throat. She just felt so _angry_. Jane had no idea what would make her stop screaming, so she let it all out. She picked up a clock and threw it at her mirror. They both shattered into a million pieces, and she didn't care one bit. Jane went to her sideboard, jumped onto it and walked along, kicking every expensive, treasured ornament across the room where they shattered into the walls and furniture. She threw an armchair at her door, nearly forcing it off its hinges. Jane still couldn't stop screaming. A card tower she had spent hours building, quickly fell over as she threw a doll at it. She pulled her desk over and the glass jewelry box, which contained priceless jewels spilled across the floor. Finally, emotionally exhausted after trashing the rest of her room, but not feeling physically tired at all, she collapsed onto her bed in a heap.

Nobody came in for hours. They avoided her corridor like the plague. A lot later, after much encouragement, Alec quietly crept into the room. He lay on the bed next to his sister and gave her a reassuring hug. He waited with her for the rest of the night, running his fingers through her tangled hair as her body heaved with silent sobs. Jane wished and wished she could sleep to escape for a few hours, but instead settled for closing her eyes and feeling reassured that her brother was there, that he would always be there for her no matter what.


End file.
